with broken hearts we look at life

My name Is Tiffany. This is my first entry.
I like to write when I feel any emotion. Anger. Hurt. Dissapointment. It's better than cutting or crying so it's a hobby I try and keep up :) tell me what you think.


-Untitled-Jan 26-TiffanyC

Excuse me while I fall into a hundred pieces at your feet
My shattered heart would bleed for just one glance
I cry out for any warmth form you and Iam returned with nothing more than your snow covered shoulder


Your soft and tender lips against mine make me wantt to cry out
I want to feel for you
I want the blissful ignorant ways of a young silly couple in love
The fluids in my body turn to ice at the thought of letting anyone close enough to me to love me


This one I was trying to work into a song...

Never What you Wanted-TiffanyC

There goes my life, with every pill, doobie and drink
There goes my life wieth every sleepless night every tear filled word
Im drowning in memories of the way it used to be

it's been so hard all i need is time-the most expensive thing

im loosing myself in the mix of you and them
i wish i wasn't here (whisperd)
Im afraid of the person I could become
Always kindhearted and with a tender sould- the first you bend and break


Im open to critizm, just don't be mean for no reason :D
<3
Tiffany

Eyeless like night time, words scribbled to profane my wrists
Ailments and love letters doused in regret
Goodnight and Goodbye my most beautiful
But did you really think I wouldn't notice

Quit your faithless studder, greatest daughter of deception
Thanks to you I can't stop shaking, So here's your thank you dear


And innocence isn't a question we should have to ask ourselves
Whenever we feel less the faithful
And your lips which only know how to beg
Well now I'm the one begging
Father fix this now


So maybe I will finally have the strength to bear the weight of my words
or maybe I'd be better off if i just set this down and went and tried once again to forget

Go back to bed ****************
don't contrive a conversation, don't even bother to speak
Don't talk,don't close you eyes
Just let me outline those delicate freckles one last time
before I outline my veins
PS I hope you're doing well
PS I hope you're doing well
PS I hope I never see you again
PS I hope I really meant it this time
PS You still think you're too good for me
PS I told you that from the beginning

FOREVER INTO THE DISTANT BLUE
(T. Beechey)

Amidst the boundless astral plain,amongst the myriad drops of rain,
Between the moon and sun I've danced in a ceaseless quest to seek romance
But I just had to turn to find that what I sought was right behind
To take my hand and guide me through forever into the distant blue

Within her eyes,therein lies what shade and shadow can't disguise
All that is so pure and true,like when the dawn embarks anew
Spilling forth in lustrous rays,sifting through the mist and haze
Allowing for another chance to glimpse the world at flawless glance
And the images which have been drawn supply the strength to carry on
Over once untrodden ground as time's fabric grows unwound
Hers is truly a lyrical soul - lifting me up,filling the role
Of someone whom I used to know...it seems so very long ago

But also yet,in a way,there remains a sense of yesterday
For but a fleeting twinkling once,I relished the flavors of these wants
I savored every precious drop then,all too soon,it came to stop
Ever since I've longed and yearned for those moments to return
To cast aside shrouds of gloom and breathe in airs of sweet perfume
Nestled in rich bouquets of water lilies by the bay
Just simple pleasures,priceless treasures ---springing forth in spacious measures
Gone not to be revised...till I found the beauty in her eyes

Reviving faith,renewing hope,smoothing out each hill and slope
Granting chance to chances lost regardless of the cause or cost
A time to bask within the rays of playful,carefree summer days
And capture at their greatest heights passions borne on winter heights
Revealed to all,concealed to none --- the time to heal has begun
And I never thought I would see when such a time would come to me
I'm comforted so by its warming glow,more than anyone could ever know
Casting reflections below,above,and all around in hues of love

Now,as anguish goes,I've chance to dose --- at last,a moment for repose
For I've grown weary in my quest,my wounded soul beckons request
The mirrored portraits in her eyes reflect upon the earth and skies
Across the glass I fanitly trace a misplaced smile upon my face
When I awake I've come to see these dreams of smiles have come to be
For,within my heart,we are as one in the presence of the setting sun
Underneath a velvet mystic sky as clouded mists go rolling by
Upon a crystalled span of sea awash in sheer tranquility

And,all around,there is no sound --- not even a echoed whisper found
Just she and I within a world so unbridled and unfurled
Her poetic gaze I praise in song as,with the winds,we drift along
Past and beyond the skyline view...forever into the distant blue

SUNRISE

Sunrise,peeking slowly through the trees
Bring me another day to share
Sunrise,with your warm and gentle breeze
Show me just how much you care

Oh,can you read my mind?
Can you take away the pain?
Erase all of my yesterdays
And let me start again

Sunrise,collect up all my dreams
Turn them into something real
Sunrise,sew up all my seams
Close my wounds and let them heal

Let me knoe the truth
That's concealed behind the lies
Reveal to me the answers
And blaze them across the skies

Sunrise,breathe new life into my soul
Tell me that I am not wrong
Sunrise,help me fulfill my role
Let me know that I belong

Give to me a reason
That I should carry on
Welcome and caress me
With each refreshing dawn

(Instrumental Break)

Unlock all of your mysteries
That have so long been known
Confide in me your secrets
You already know my own

Sunrise,cast all shadows to the side
Light my path so I can see
Sunrise,be my guardian and guide
Take me where I want to be...

THE THINGS I MEANT TO SAY
(T. Beechey)

It seems that,lately,all I have spinning 'round my head,
Are all the itty bitty things I never ever said,
So many times I wanted to and countless times I tried,
But who knows why? It seems I kept them locked inside,
Days turned to weeks,then months and years,soon a lifetime passed,
And what remains are endless tears instead of smiles to last,
Oh,I'd give everything I had for another day,
To hold you close and whisper those things I meant to say.

I meant to say "Good morning" each time you awoke; I meant to say "How are you" whenever we spoke,
I meant to say "You're special" when no one seemed to care; I meant to say "I thank you" for being there,
I meant to say "I'll help you" no matter what the task; I meant to say "I'll listen" to each question you'd ask,
I meant to say "You helped me" for answers you'd give; I meant to say "Cause of you" for reasons that I live.

So many things I meant to say but something always got in the way,
Now no one's here to hear a word and so these things will not be heard,
But they echo daily in my mind and so I find myself resigned,
To listen as my conscience sings these intended but unuttered things.

I meant to say "I'm sorry" when I was wrong; I meant to say "Don't worry" when roads ahead seemed long,
I meant to say "I'll lead you" when you couldn't find the road; I meant to say "I'll take it" when you couldn't bear the load,
I meant to say nothing at all each time I'd complain; I meant to say "I'll shield you" from every drop of rain,
I meant to say "Forgive me" for each tear you'd cry; I meant to say "Give me one chance to tell you why."

So many things I meant to say but something always got in the way,
Now no one's here to hear a word and so these things will not be heard,
What was I thinking? Why'd I wait? I know it now but now's too late,
My heart lies bare with broken strings atop a mound of voiceless things.

I meant to say "I'll find it" when all you sought was time; I meant to say "I'll pull you" over each uphill climb,
I meant to say "Take my hand" as each road began to slant; I meant to say "Yes,you can" when you said you can't,
I meant to say "We did it" as we passed each test; I meant to say "It's over" when we'd find time to rest,
I meant to say "Here's the key" to secrets I keep; I meant to say "Dream sweetly" as you closed your eyes to sleep.

So many things I meant to say but something always got in the way,
Now no one's here to hear a word and so these things will not be heard,
Except by me from the morning sun until the day is finally done,
Yes,now you're gone and each day brings to mind these never-spoken things.

It seems that,lately,all I have rolling through my brain,
Are all the teeny,weeny things I'll never say again,
The things I should have said to the one I was with,
And all those misspent moments that have faded into myth,
So many things I meant to say but something always got in the way,
Now no one's here to hear a word and so these things will not be heard,
Sometimes,at night,your name I'll call to a faded frame on a shaded wall ---
I meant to say "I love you,"
I meant to say "I love you,"
I meant to say "I love you,"
And that one hurts the most of all.

Does anyone want to roleplay with me?
IM me xrosexfellowx

*sorry for cross posting*
I'm not too much for posting in communities...I'm kind of shy, in case you haven't noticed, I've only updated in here once or twice, I've been joined since the day I got my journal.
*ahem*
Anyhow, I uhm, came with a somewhat odd request.
I need a friend, an older friend, or someone my age.
Requardless, I have a disorder that makes me feel younger or mentally less capable than anyone over the age of 12.
I do not want someone who is as shy as me, for that means there wont be much talking
I want someone friendly, open minded, someone who can tolerate complaining but not be afraid to tell me to "suck it up" when I'm being far too bitchy.
I want someone to trust, and someone who thinks they can trust me to talk about things as well.
A guy or a girl, I really don't care.
I have friends, but I've realized that sometimes it's nice to have a genuine friend who cares, and you can talk to about anything
for even with my best friends there are some things that I can not talk about without getting people angry.
Yeah, it's an odd, somewhat random request, but I'm sure there are probably other people out there who would want someone to talk with as well.
and...that's my story

If anyone cares and or is obliged to become my friend/oldersister/brother "figure" then you can leave a comment on IM me on AOL at xrosexfellowx

Thank you
-Catty

Too Too much no more no more.
Im am SO SICK of dealing with these things.
Hearing how people that Im in love with take drugs and cut themselves has made me HATE THEM. josh...I HATE josh, Colleen, I HATE Colleen, I dont need anymore hurt and those two are the main source. I CANT CARE ANYMORE. every time I throw a hint their way that their actions are KILLING me they just DONT GET IT. well I am SICK AND TIRED of taking it and I wont take it anymore. They can go cut the SHIT out of themselves or go and get higher than the heavens and I DONT FUCKING WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT AND I WONT CARE.
Im done catering to her when she needs me and then sitting there only WISHING she were there when I need her. I was ALWAYS there for her and she was there for me maybe TWICE.
I done dealing with those things.
I want them out of my life and Im not handling them anymore.
I helped many many people and was still in the midst of helping others and i realized that Im done and I just cant take it anymore. Its not like I dont really love Josh and Colleen and the others underneath all the hate because I know I do but Im SICK mentally and physically of knowing and dealing with these things.

tell me what Im doing isnt wrong
please tell me its not
because even though Im so adamant
it HURTS horribly.

my flatmate took a poll asking whether it is better to be cruel for love or for hate.

I'm curious to what you guys have to say about it. Give me some examples or reasoning behind your answer =)

i'm new.

i had an awesome expirence the other night...i'm in pep band, and after the a basketball that i had to play at, it was raining, and me and my 2 friends came outside with me, and we danced around in the rain...and this guy that i had never met before...we just started flirting, and i said "come dance with us!" so he came outside and we danced around and sang at the top of our lungs...and it was super fun. then my friends left, and i went inside, and he came with me, and sat with me...instead of going home, or going to watch the rest of the game...he actually stayed to hang out with me. and now i have a big crush. and i never have any luck with crushes. i always hope and hope that something will become of my crushes, but i'm just wasting my time.